My kids are two of the many things that make me happy, but Kid 2 has been worth his weight in gold for the funny memories he has provided us with. There are so many stories about him that it will require several volumes to share them all with you - this is the first in this series.
Some parents share funny memories of their children with anyone that will listen purely to get revenge on said child once they become teenagers, but that's not the reason that I am doing this. In fact, I have spoken to Kid 2 and asked him if he was OK with me including his stories in my blog and apart from two particular stories that he hates being mentioned, he is happy to let me publish his many, many tales.
I enjoy retelling these stories as they make me smile, but I appreciate that some of them make be of the 'you had to be there' ilk. I apologise in advance if the humour in these stories is not immediately obvious, but please indulge me, because these stories really do need to be published for posterity.
Where do I start? Well, the beginning is usually a good place, so travel back with me to May 1994. After a few hours of pushing, shoving and, at one point, a genuine fear that my body was going to rip itself apart and spilt me in two, Kid 2 arrived. He was 10 days late so looked like a flaky walnut. I can admit that now, but at the time I would have disemboweled anyone with my bare hands if they dared to say that he was anything other than the most gorgeous baby to ever have been born since the equally gorgeous Kid 1.
He was a strange little package. Still is. But I mean that in the nicest possible way. I love the fact that he is odd. In the hospital at the tender age of less than 24 hours old he was already proving himself to be a source of amusement. He laid there in the little clear plastic crib things that they have in hospitals, sleeping like a, well, baby I suppose. During our first night together, I heard an occasional tiny knocking noise followed by a sigh - the delicious kind of sigh that only a contented baby and my cat B can make. I couldn't sleep as I was too besotted with my new little friend, so just as I had done with Kid 1, I sat on the edge of my bed transfixed by the sight of something so small and utterly gorgeous and wondered in amazement at how I had produced something so wonderful. And then I discovered the source of the tiny knocking noise. Every now and then something would make him jump and he would fling his tiny arms out in surprise, knocking on the side of the crib. It was something that was going to become a regular feature in Kid 2's life.
Fast forward to 1997 and the family holiday in Wales. Kid 2 has inherited my ability to fall asleep very quickly on long car drives*. At the tender age of 3, Kid 2 spent a lot of time asleep in the car while we were in Wales driving to and fro various excursions. Other than arriving at our destination, there was only one thing would wake him from his slumber....
Wales is a lovely country with lots of farmland, well, the bit of Wales we were in was like that anyway. The hills and fields we drove past mainly contained sheep and cows. Up on the Welsh mountains, farmers need to have some way of making sure that their livestock do not wander off too far, so at regular intervals you get cattle grids in the road. Driving over cattle grids vibrates the whole car and jiggles the passengers around a bit. Not exactly scary though is it? No, not if you are awake and see the sign for the upcoming grid and know to expect a juddering. But imagine that you are a sleeping 3 year old, so sound asleep that your whole body is slumped forward and being propped up by the seat belt with drool slowly running down your chin. A sudden loud shaking motion will surely scare the willies out of you.
It did. As the car juddered over the cattle grid, Kid 2 once again flung out his arms in surprise, briefly open his big blue eyes, only to immediately close them, and once again settle into his usual, comfy position. He had the same reaction if he was awake and we drove over a grid. It was very amusing to witness!
He didn't like it. Not one bit. It got to a point that we started warning him that we were approaching a grid so he could brace himself. Like most of the stories, he hasn't lived the cattle grid reaction down. We still warn him if we are approaching one today.
And then there was his reaction to fireworks at Disneyland Paris. We were behind the big castle, walking back towards Main Street to watch the impending fireworks display. It was very dark and very few people around there, as they were already in position to watch the display. As we made our way round, there was an almighty bang as the first rocket went up. Kid 2 naturally thought that the best thing to do would be to throw his arms up in the air and run in the opposite direction to where his parents were, into the darkness and then panic and run back towards us!
See what I mean? Odd. But we like him.
HH
XXX
*Can I just point out that my predilection for falling asleep in cars only applies if I am sitting in the passenger seats, NOT the driving seat.
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