Grumpy = Happy?

Sometimes, I like being grumpy. I find it quite cathartic. There is nothing like having a good old rant and moan about something that has riled you for cleansing the mind. I used to sit near a woman at work and it seemed that at around 3.30 each afternoon, one of us would have a bit of a rant about something and it became almost a ritual in the end.

Now let me be clear. I am not talking about the kind of continuous whingeing and moaning that some people do all the time. You know the type of people - weary, depressing old miseries. And neither am I talking about the ridiculous rantings of people like Victor Meldrew or the irrational hormonal moods of women at certain times of the month. The grumpiness that I am referring to is the kind as witnessed on the TV show 'Grumpy Old Men/Women'. Actually, now I think about it, I take issue with the word grumpy in that context. It's not really grumpiness to expect a certain standard of behaviour from the world around you and then be dissatisfied when confronted with the harsh reality. The grumbles raised in that show are nearly always completely justified and triggered by the sheer stupidity, arrogance, rudeness, thoughtlessness and unacceptable behaviour of other people. Which leads me onto my first grumble...

I hate people. Not all people, obviously, but certainly most people. As Elizabeth Bennet said in Jane Austen's 'Pride and Prejudice'; "There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more I am dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense". My sentiments exactly!

It seems that every day I am confronted with people that symbolise everything that I hate about the world today. I am not alone in this. My friend J and I often have a rant about the behaviour of people. We joke about how when we run the country these offensive people will be given the choice of either changing their behaviour or being forcibly removed from the country and changing the law to make it illegal to be rude or smell bad. This may smack of some kind of ethnic cleansing, but it's not. It's survival of the thoughtful, polite and clean. Hubby always says that I expect too much from people, that I expect perfection. He is wrong. I don't expect that from everyone. I expect a common standard of manners and behaviour from the general public and a higher standard of behaviour from those that I am close to. Be honest, don't you too? Why would you choose to spend time with people that wind you up?

Is it so wrong to expect decent behaviour from people? When did it become acceptable to turn feral in supermarkets*? Or to see a heavily pregnant woman on the tube, or an elderly person, look directly at then and still not offer up your seat for them? (this applies to men AND women who ignore the less able to stand). Or to talk loudly in the cinema or theatre? Or to drive right up behind someone and flash your lights at them? Or be a frickin' tourist in Trafalgar Square?! OK, that one is acceptable, but it's not acceptable to get in my way when I'm trying to get to work! Smelly people are unacceptable too, along with people that sniff loudly and excessively, say 'anyfink' or 'somefink' instead of anything or something, rude people, lazy, arrogant people, thoughtless and inconsiderate people.

I could go on, but I don't want to give the impression that I am a miserable cow. Cos, I'm not y'know. I'm actually very healthy. People who know about these things say that you can lower your risk of a heart attack by venting these angers and frustrations. I'm also not a hypocrite. I can't very well moan about the behaviour of others if I go around acting like an arse. I try to be a nice person, even to smelly, rude people that sniff! Again, the wise Jane Austen said it better; "There is nothing that I would not do for those who are truly my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not in my nature".

Of course I am not perfect. I have been known to tut loudly at people, yes I know, people that do that annoy me too. I also recently discovered what it was like to experience completely irrational rage. It was in Liverpool Street station. As usual there was a crowd of people waiting to get on the escalator. Everyone was gradually filtering on to the moving staircase in a fairly polite and organised manner, then some bloke cut through all of us, like a hot knife through butter and barged his way on to the escalator without so much as an 'excuse me, I'm in a terrible rush'. I was livid. I glared at the back of his head all the way down to the next level and then did something that I have never done before and that I am not proud of. I got off the escalator, followed the offensive man, who was walking in the opposite direction to where I needed to be going, until I was level with him, jumped in front of him, called him a not very nice name and then turned to carry on my journey home. That's not normal behaviour. Who was the bigger criminal in that scenario? Him for being a thoughtless, rude tosspot or me for being an aggressive objector to his behaviour? You decide.

One thing I do agree with my hubby about is that I hold a grudge for too long (the event in the station happened 6 weeks ago and I still can't let it go!) and should learn to not let stupid people get to me so badly. Which leads me to my final point and my final Jane Austen quote; "I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offences against myself". Perhaps if I did, I would not have need for this blog or to make a New Years resolution to be happy! But, show me someone who does not enjoy having a good old moan and I will show you a goody two-shoes liar!

Love

HH

xx



*a friend of mine told me that he was in Tesco over the Christmas period and had an item in his hand. Apparently a female shopper walked up to him, took it out of his hand, looked at it and then put it back on the shelf. By all accounts this wasn't just an unfortunate encounter with the local nutter, but a perfectly normal woman. My friend said he was so stunned that he didn't react beyond standing there open mouthed at her audacity. That story scared me, because I know that if that had happened to me, I probably would have gone supernova with rage.